The Book’s Message
First marriages are the best
It is our contention, regardless of your faith or no faith at all, that your best chance of success will always lie with your first marriage.
It is here that the bonds of the original family members remain intact; here that the children & future generations will have a common heritage from a family that stayed together.
Know that the heart has a life & mind of its own and doesn’t forget important moments. You may find that what you thought was over, wasn’t, and never will be. Please carefully consider this important commitment.
Dating properly is a key to marriage happiness
You can take care of a lot of your future marriage issues by understanding how to date.
Will you wait on touching long enough to really get to know them? How long does it take to see the true person come out in both of you? What do you have to offer and where are both of you headed in life? Is the goal in dating to get married, or is it falling in love that is important? You need the answers to these questions before you move forward to marriage.
Your marriage may not be the issue
Maybe your marriage is fine - would that surprise you? Almost 100% of the time it’s spouses that are the problem - not their marriage.
Maybe you don’t communicate your thoughts & feelings well, or he’s troubled because his career is unfulfilling. What if poor friends and associations are dragging you both down? How about financial problems or health issues you both face - are these adding stress? He may have a family background that leaves him clueless about marriage, or you have some issues of your own.
Look at fixing yourselves. It will be a gift to you . . . and your marriage..
Have the right people on your team
Of all the people that ever lived, Jesus is the most central and important figure in history; this is without debate. Whether you’re religious or not, whether you’re from Africa, Australia, Russia or downtown New York City, to even argue over this point is ridiculous.
That such a significant figure would talk about marriage so much is rare. Too few, if any, of history’s great people have opened up on this topic. Listen carefully to His words and take them to heart.
The nuclear family is important
Will future generations of our children find a proper sense of belonging - by seeing a single family line before them - due to faithfulness? Or will they see a multitude of unrelated grandparents, cousins, uncles and aunts coming at them - like a swirling galaxy of planets - due to broken marriages and disregarded commitments that came before their arrival?
Which would you choose for them? I can’t see anyone wanting a substitute for a solid family line.
Place yourselves on an island
People should consider their marriages like being together on an isolated island. In this type of environment, they would have to work all things out as a couple - or retreat to opposite ends of the island to be alone forever. Being alone gets old quick.
I believe couples should see their marriage in this way; a private island alone - keeping all others off. If the only option was being married or being alone on your end of the island, I think most couples would come together and eventually work it out. This is an essential position of The Forgotten Option.